Posted on

Forgiving Days Gone By


We humans have a funny way of collecting emotion.   Some will even place into compartments and mark to designate said emotion and store as if it will be needed to serve the proof of evidence at a later time.  A good example for me on this subject was that I lived with  grandparents on my father’s side when I was 2 ½  until 6 year  old and I stored   a lot memory of things that were said and done  that I recall as the discontent of my early years.   I have recently come across some pictures of that time, and I am more focused on the expressions rather than the perceived emotion.   Perhaps, I had it all wrong.  This clearly goes with the theorem, “you live and you learn”.   One picture that truly struck me was of my Aunt who lived with us at the time, and her son of about 10 years and he was as I remember, very mean.  In fact the whole setting of those years were mean.   As we three posed for this picture, my Aunt expression was one of pride.    I remember that my Aunt made me clothes and so I was always dressed well and the expectation was that I stayed that way from dusk until dawn.  Impossible!   Little girls today are dressed in clothes that go anywhere, anytime and can be changed if wet or dirty as they will go into the wash and be dry by in an hour or so and that was not the case then.  And so, the emotion that went with keeping me looking like a little doll when my cousin would through dirt on me is now becoming a storage problem.  As I begin to go through the pictures to find that my Aunt was only being my mother for that moment in time and that she was trying to keep me looking the way people would perceive her role, I now see her point.  Older is wiser, and I am sorry that I did not appreciate her more as she was doing the best that she could in those times.