I put off writing anything about Nancy until I had time to digest the run of events leading up to her death. However, I truly do not believe that I will ever digest this matter as it was too rapid for the heart to process. As most of us that knew her understand, it was slow leading up, but then escalated quickly and became a fierce and frightening emotion that disturbed all involved. I was in direct contact with Mac each day and tried to understand what and why they were doing this or that to her. Mac going back and forth to Univ. of Maryland from the time she had been taken there by a medical helicopter. I agreed to take the burden of the cats from his worry knowing that even in Nancy’s sickly state she would be upset if they were not cared for properly. People began to call with regularity and so I recited what Mac had told me each day and throughout the day. Sending an email to all of those who were concerned every day. None of this made any sense at all. They continued to poke her with all things available and going from the heart to the thyroid to the lungs to the intestines finding nothing that couldn’t be fixed and moving forward to the next area of attention. Each day I ask mac if she could have visitors and when she would be coming home and he would respond No to all, saying that she was too weak and not up to it. I realized that they did not truly have a grasp of the bigger picture, and that each doctor held a piece of the puzzle but was not connecting the dots to this very scary situation. The heart was in rhythm, the thyroid reduced, the blood pressure ok and they still worked on how to get her up and functional enough to go home. I emailed many people who knew Nancy and Mac and as the list grew to about 65 people , I knew that the word would spread about her condition. Everyone was concerned, worried , prayed and we could do nothing. I spoke with her daughter Jennifer who was confident that they would get her back on track. Then, a call came at 3 am from Mac to say that she had suffered a massive heart attack at 2 am and it was unsure the outcome as they were doing CPR at that time. He feared that she had not had oxygen to the brain for at least 25 minutes and that this could cause damage. We offered to go there but, he said no as it was not certain the outcome. The outcome was damage of a vegetative state. The next call I received was from Jennifer from Nancy’s room. She relieved Mac for he had been under strain for far too long. There were other details of what took place and so Jennifer recited them and hoped for a miracle. She was still convinced that her mother would come back. Her brother Stuart, was on the way to arrive by the evening. The family would go to that place in the human spirit that determines what we cannot change, and then makes us accept it without any understanding. I call this the “gristle of life” . I received the call from Jennifer at 8:36 am the next morning of whatever day. As it happened, Jim and I were about to leave for our 13 day cruise and we were attempting to pack and prepare for our trip abroad but the bodies were moving through the motions and the spirit could hardly function with the knowledge of our dear friend. It took a week before the meaning of this event penetrated my brain. I was at a show on the cruise and the performer was doing an Elton John number “ I’m still standing”. I could not believe my ears, and the thought of going home without my friend their squeezed terribly hard on my heart and would not let go.
Nancy will be known for her love of people for which she lived by with parties and dinners every day or any day. In fact she had a party planned on the day she passed.
Nancy and I would talk about our lives and we were pleased to be at this place in time. I am glad to have had the pleasure of knowning her.
She talked and laughed , and liked every person she met , and everything she ate. She had a great love for animals as well, especially her piggy’s. Christmas was all year long, as her birthday was Christmas Eve ( the above picture was taken at her surprise bday party a few years back) , and so to us she was a wonderful gift.